Like A Bull In A Chyna Shop

Chyna was accused of attacking his girlfriend Gabriela Targosa over the weekend at a motel. He allegedly grabbed her, punched her in the face, pulled her by the hair and then made threats to kill her.

His assault is currently being investigated by LA police.

Sounds like 'roid rage to me. Don't these guys ever learn, steroids screw up your system and on top of that it shrinks your balls - which would be reason enough for me to never take them.

But these men only care about looking big and muscular and to hell with a small dick and the violent side effects.

Give me a sec - someone's interrupting my post with a bulletin. Excuse me? What's that you're saying? Chyna is not a guy? Get the fuck outta here! You're kidding, right? I don't believe it. I know I've benen a bulge in his her pants before. His Her name is Joanie Laurer? Sorry I no comprende. And I sure as hell don't believe he's a girl. I'm sticking to my story as is.

Wax on Wax off

Madame Tussauds has introduced their new line of animatronics.

These horrific expressionless stiffs include the likes of Donatella Versace, Joan Van Ark, Meg Ryan, Joan Rivers, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Jenner (who can now play male or female roles with that playdough face) and Barry Fagilow Manilow (who writes the songs that make the whole world snooze).

You'd think these overly stretched back, freakishly looking celebrities were preparing to star in a horror movie. Instead the horror is their reality having to look like this.

House of Wax, Mystery of the Wax Museum, and Nightmare in Wax are just a few of the remakes perfect for any of these leather faces. And they don't even have to waste any money on special effects make-up.

All right, Mr. DeMille, they're ready for their close-up!