Save Jessica Simpson's Heart

It’s not only tartar build-up and nasty gum diseases you have to worry about. If you don’t brush your teeth twice a day, you’re more likely to develop heart disease, says a new British study.

Someone tell Jessica Simpson.

Earlier this month, the pop singer and sometimes-actress, told Ellen DeGeneres that she brushes her teeth only about three times a week, because she doesn’t like them to “feel too slippery.”
So keep in mind - just because they’re pearly and sheen, it doesn’t mean they’re clean.

“I don’t brush them everyday. I’ll use a shirt or something ... I know it's gross, but I always have fresh breath," she said. Simpson added that she's a big fan of Listerine and floss.

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Jeremy Renner Is A Chubby Chaser

Thank-God-I'm-a-fat-country-girl Jessica Simpson and Hurt Locker's Jeremy Renner were seen entering a hotel in Washington, D.C. together.

US Weekly reports that after they attended some gala event this past Thursday, the two walked into the St. Regis Hotel at 3 in the morning, and to keep us from figuring out that they were hooking up, they entered the place a few seconds apart from each other.  Wow, I guess that threw us off.  Real convincing guys.  Two celebrities just happen to be in Washington, at the same hotel, come in at practically the same time, early in the  morning.  Definitely sounds coincidental to me.  There's no way I would think they're fucking.

You Might Be A Redneck If...

At first I thought this was one of those redneck jokes but then I found out it was Ma Kettles Jessica Simpson being her true natural self - a disgustingly gross pig.  

Mess-ICK-a Simpson told Ellen she only brushes her teeth three times a week because she doesn't want to mess with the whiteness.  HUH???.   I know she didn't have much to start with but is that extra weight killing off her brain cells?

"My teeth are so white and I don't like them to feel too slippery, but I do use Listerine and I do floss everyday. But, I don't brush them everyday." 

She says that even when she brushes her teeth, she doesn't always use toothpaste, "I'll use a shirt or something. I know it's gross but I always have fresh breath."  

Mo'Nique and her should get together to write a book on beauty and hygiene tips. I see an  instant bestseller.


Chestica is proof positive that you can take the trailer out of the trash but you can't take the trash Jessica out of the trailer.

Jessica Simpson Joins The Jimmy Dean Family

Doesn't Jessica Simpson's dress look like sausage casing? She could pass for a plump Jimmy Dean porker sausage!

Jessica Simpson to go Natural

Jessica Simpson graces the cover of Marie Claire magazine.   Jessica tells the world she is going all natural with no makeup, no air brushing or retouching.   Bitch even blow dried her own hair for the spread. Oh Jessica, what will your amazing talents bring us next?

Jessica says:

"I don't have anything to prove anymore,” she told Marie Claire. “What other people think of me is not my business."  

Here are some suggestions:  

• Dump Kevin Paves.  Girlfriend doesn't know a fucken thing about hair.  He cun't do a thing with his own hair let alone Jessica's extensions. 

• Wear them jeans again Jessica – high waist or even your daisy dukes.  This will show everyone you are serious about exposing your huge wide ass.

• Don’t wear a bra.  Let those puppies hang out, they need to breathe and do their own thing.

• Stop wearing deodorant.   If you're claiming to go all natural, your natural scent will tell everyone you’re in the room. 

•  Stop waxing! Yes, stop waxing your 'stache, your legs and your pussy.  You should do all you can to bring back the Amazon jungle look of the 50's.  That’s right, when someone pats your poon, their hand should be able to spring back into action before they take another go at it. 

Sweat Pants SCREAM "I GIVE UP"

Does anyone know the message they are sending out to the world when wearing a pair of sweat pants? You're telling the world:

"I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable." (Seinfeld)

If you're a stone's throw away from strolling down the grocery store aisles in "give-ups," a.k.a. sweat pants, I hope you realize that you are screaming to the world, "I give up". 

And don't pretend you are happy and comfortable in them because everyone knows you are not.  Women look at other women and think "ick what a fat ass in those sweat pants" or they look at guys and think "Gross, no way he is packing that".   AND please ladies, don't try to dress up those sweat pants with a pair of UGGS either, its just ugly!

Not convinced, here are a few photos... enjoy :)