Demi Moore Stays Young, HOW?

Demi Moore has admitted that having sex (and lots and lots of plastic surgery) keeps her youthful.

Demi who is married to Ashton Kutcher, has revealed that when he fucks her, she supernovas him, he side winds her, she love seats him, he hang tens her, she joystick rides him, he sideways samba her, she bunking broncos him, he doggy style her, she backup boogies him, he spoons her, she thigh masters him, he sea horses her and so on, it makes her feel sore special and contributes to her youthful appearance (at a cost of over $300,000).

Demi claims  "I would say that a lot of sex (Cost for huge tits $9000) helps. It's the endorphins! (Tummy Tuck $11,000) But there's more than that (face lift $12,000) , it's also sharing a quality life with someone (Ass lift $15,000) .  I know I have someone who loves me (new nose $5,000) for who I am (Cheek Implants  $10,000)  and who I'm not (Brow lift  $4,000). He loves me for my imperfections (knee Surgery $33,000) and that makes me feel so happy (arm lift $7,000)."

Although Demi Moore has noticed the changes in her appearance she has learned to accept them (Lipo-suction $13,000).

She added: "I've aged (neck lift $8,000), I don't look the same as I did in my 20s (mentoplasty $6,000) and 30s (laser hair removal ($20,000). But you've got to make the most of what you have (more movies, bigger pay checks, more plastis surgery)."

I guess if we all had millions and went under the knife regularly and pretended to fucking like banshees, we would all look as young as Demi 

Penis Investigator Wanted

You can forget being a policeman in Papua, a region in Indonesia if you've had your dick enlarged. According to police spokesman Zainuri Lubis, an enlarged penis can hinder training. Probably because they'd be busy playing with it all day.

An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged", said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, "if he has, he will be considered unfit to join the police or the military."

This must be every gay man's dream job. To be the one in charge of reviewing and checking out everyone's cock. I can just hear them interviewing the applicants - "I'm sorry, your penis is too big for the police force, but here's my home number. Give me a call later".

Whose Knees Are These?

Granny? Is that you Gran-knee? Oh sorry, I thought it was my grandma.  Didn't realize those gnarlies belong to Sex -not tonight I have a headache- in the City's Sarah Jessica Parker.

Me thinks someone should call Demi Moore asap and get the name of the doctor who de-boned and   de-wrinkled De-mi's de-liteful knees. And while your at it Sarah, get that Doc to run an iron over your neck and face.  Get those wrinkles right out!