The Train Wreck Theory

While Bret Michaels' condition remains stable but critical, ratings for Celebrity Apprentice have gone up since he was hospitalized. 

I attribute the increase to the train wreck theory – that when something bad happens, there is that almost morbid curiosity to watch. Hopefully in Bret's case, there will be a happy ending and by happy ending I don't mean the kind you get from a masseuse, although I wouldn't mind getting one myself.

Even though his Apprentice team did crap and he was probably the worst on the team, Bret wasn't fired from last night's episode. NBC must be giddy over that – I'm sure if they could re-edit the whole season to show Bret winning, they probably would.

Motherchuck and all the trailer trashy hos lining up to be in Rock Of Love 4 are rooting for Bret's speedy recovery.

Tiger Woods Sees His Shadow

Hey Tiger - you can come out of hibernation. Your long cold winter is over and you can count your lucky hoes that the smeglight is now shining on Jesse "Monkey" James.

I'm sure Howard Stern is already thinking sequel to his Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant, but I have a few ideas of my own. Tell me what you think.

Survivor: STDs - the Tiger Tribe vs the Monkey Tribe. The winners eat lobster and the losers get crabs.

Mistress Idol - vote for your favorite ho plus the top 10 then go on the whore tour for the summer.

Prostitute Island - Married couples agree to live with the mistresses in order to test the strength of their relationships.

America's Got Talent - each mistress shows off her best "talent".

Dancing With The Skanks - pole dancing at its best!

Or how about Biggest Loser, America's Next Top Call Girl, Hooker Apprentice.

I'm telling you the ideas are endless and with a few more scandals we might get a chance to produce them all so let the whoring begin!

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