hersTORI

Tori Spelling and Dean WhatHisFaceLookingForAttentionGoldDigger McDouche are the latest celebrity Hollywood couple hitting the media circuit to prove to the world that it would take an eternity to break them apart. Oh and their reality show is set to premier on Monday.

"We are so together, there is no divorce in our future, at all. "Everyone has marital problems, You know, you fight with your partner" Tori Spelling

Sounds So noTORIous, Someone is definitely doing some more sTORI tellin'. 

I believe what sTori is really circulating goes a little something like this:

D is for Deadbeat Dad Douchebag. I am a media whore. I have every intention of leaving my marriage behind. I don't want to be married to this dufus anymore. I cun't wait to end this fuckin sham of a marriage! Damn Tiger and Larry King for their cheating scandals. Timing is everything. I need to plan and execute this divorce just right. I'll sit tight until I can think of a better sTORI that will give me even more media coverage. I should have listened to my bitch mother and not marry this dumb fuck. I lost my daddy's millions thanks to this dickhead. For fucksake, a bed and breakfast??? WTF was I thinking living in the sticks catering to trash who can't afford to be pampered in a hotel. I'm use to being treated like a queen with my daddy's millions!!

... And End Scene
 

Shania Twain - New Reality Show, New Pooch, New Life

Ahhh what's this I hear?  La belle femme pussy fatale Shania Twain is getting a new reality show on OWN TV. The show will follow the hot sexy country star as she begins her climb back on top.

Shania's return to the spotlight comes after some time away following her divorce from Le skunk, her mongrel dog, ex producer Mutt. The two split when they both decided to swap spit and spouses with Le Thiebaud's. Mutt began a secret affair with Le "Personal" Secretary, Marie Anne Thiebaud. Shania felt betrayed by Le Mutt, so she found herself another stray dog, Frederic Thiebaud, who just happened to be Le husband of Mary Anne.

This reminds me of ABBA. The time when Benny committed adultry with Anni-Frida, who was fucking Björn, who put the double squeeze on Agnetha, who was banging Benny, who then had a threesome with Björn and Anni-Frida. And I CAN'T STAND IT!

Newton's Fine Apples

When I think of  Madame Tussauds Wayne Newton, I think of one of the greatest  wax museums entertainers in Las Vegas.   Wayne Newton, dubbed Mr Las Vegas, played the Stardust Hotel and Casino for years.   Today, A&E,  popular for giving Dlisted stars and entertainers their own reality TV series  WeTV announced Wayne will be starring in his own new reality TV show.

The show will feature all the women who ruin in his life who contribute to his broke A$$.   His wife and attorney Kathleen McCrone who spends all of the singer's  money and Trish, Kathleen's sister and Newton's publicist  who over charges her client and sends their career in a  downward spiral.   Newton's Mother-in-law, Marilyn also makes an appearance.  She runs the star's merchandise empire and takes all the profit for herself and her kids.

It's no wonder Newton is heading for bankruptcy and is being forced to embarrass himself further on TV.  Whatever happened to hiring qualified professionals to run your business and financial affairs?   Being broke however has not stopped Wayne Newton from looking hot and fabulous as ever.   Wayne still finds the time and money for a few nips and tucks.  Just look at these photos -- it looks as if the fine doctors at McNamara Troy have done fine work.

Congrats to all of Wayne's team!

Tiger Woods Sees His Shadow

Hey Tiger - you can come out of hibernation. Your long cold winter is over and you can count your lucky hoes that the smeglight is now shining on Jesse "Monkey" James.

I'm sure Howard Stern is already thinking sequel to his Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant, but I have a few ideas of my own. Tell me what you think.

Survivor: STDs - the Tiger Tribe vs the Monkey Tribe. The winners eat lobster and the losers get crabs.

Mistress Idol - vote for your favorite ho plus the top 10 then go on the whore tour for the summer.

Prostitute Island - Married couples agree to live with the mistresses in order to test the strength of their relationships.

America's Got Talent - each mistress shows off her best "talent".

Dancing With The Skanks - pole dancing at its best!

Or how about Biggest Loser, America's Next Top Call Girl, Hooker Apprentice.

I'm telling you the ideas are endless and with a few more scandals we might get a chance to produce them all so let the whoring begin!

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