Monday, May 17, 2010

Seacrest Loves Him Some Barely Legal Action





Ryan Seacrest is a dirty old man.

The American Idol host has reportedly been on a few dates with former Dancing with the Stars regular and minor Julianne Hough.

The pair were spotted out together last month, but Hough, who is now pretending to be a country music singer, insisted it was a business meeting. hmmmm business? You two are getting down to business and we all know it! Rumors started last month but reps said they only met for a night of hot fucking business with their managers. A rep for Hough, tells Page 6, “We do not wish to comment on Julianne’s private life,” adding that she’ll release her new album on Universal Music Group’s Mercury Nashville label this fall. Wait, did she release an album already? I bet it was one of those silent smash hits on the charts for those core country listeners. Yehhhawwww!

If I do the math - Ryan Seacrest is 36 years old, who insists he's not fucking Julianne Hoff, 22.  That's a 14 year difference.  Never would I have imagined Ryan so kinky as I imagined him very gay.  It's clearly, so very porn, like a scene from "Barely Legal" or "Young 'n Hot Naughty Nymphos.  Somebody is definitely screaming "oh daddy, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me" during some very hard poon pouding.  I'm hoping they'll have a sex tape one day. Go Seacrest out go!
























Hmmm I wonder what Simon, Randy, Kara and Ellen must think of this relationship? Simon must be somewhat relieved because the gay bashing rumours may come to a temporary halt.  Randy is definitely feeling it dog and must be offering Seacrest some advice - "Dog, give it your best, I know you'll find [sex] aight, dog".  And while Kara smiles and cries tears of joy, poor Ellen just wishes she had muff of her own.


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